My sister has been a single mother for most of her daughter’s life.  I know single moms, I know people who, in times of frustration with their spouses, think it would be better to be a single mom.  Never have I known what it means to be one, although it has always been very easy to say “I don’t know how you do it” and pat them on the back.  I never knew how easy I have it.

Walter was at a conference for a few days recently.  Although he crawled in late in the night and left early the next morning I was mostly in charge of the parenting and household chores.  I was pretty much on my own and let me tell you, it was tough.  I have never before given single moms, or moms of traveling husbands, the credit they deserve.  Sure, you have no one extra to clean up after or put up with, but you also have no one there to help you or, more importantly, support you and appreciate you.  The kids mean well and they wouldn’t be able to make it if you weren’t there but they rarely admit it and they don’t tell you how good of a job you’ve done at the end of every day.  So to all the single parents, or parents who find themselves mostly in charge on a daily basis, I salute you.  I appreciate you and I envy the strength and patience you have to get through the day with your head held high and your sanity intact.  I would never choose to be put in that position because I’m not sure if I could muster what it takes to do it long term.  You have my utmost respect.

I leave you with a story that I read for inspiration and perspective every now and again.  This is for any parent and although long, and a little religious (for those that aren’t), it is very worth the read…

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?” I’m a tv guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?” I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.”

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, “I brought you this.” It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.” And the workman replied, “Because God sees.”

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, “You’re gonna love it there.”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

So to all the moms out there, single or not – Great job!  Keep up the hard, good work.  Whether you’re coated in formula, spackled in peanut butter, frustrated with your teenager’s raging hormones, or constantly hearing about your grand kids trials and tribulations, thank you.  You are an amazing person, we need you, we appreciate your love and your energy, even if you don’t hear it all the time!

Here is Kate’s First Year video created by Dawn and, of course, her beautiful letter is below.

Construction on the kitchen has officially begun!  Today they started ripping out the wall that encased our stove.  It will still be a wall but much shorter and not nearly as 70’s.  We will also no longer have an island but instead a whole bank of cabinets connecting to a new set of more cabinets and tons and tons of counter space.  Why the kitchen was ever designed like this is beyond me but we’re very excited for the finished product.  Unfortunately I’m sure the time between now and then will be riddled with dust, dirt and plenty of frustration.  Let’s see if you really can get sick of eating out!

So here was our kitchen yesterday (after we cleaned off the countertops, all of the junk now residing on our dining room table in the back) -

Here it is during the wall demolition (sorry about the shadow – I had to shoot and run!) -

And this is how it looks right now -

They will be back tomorrow to cut down the steel pieces and extend the back wall to the side wall.  The range will be replaced by a cooktop so don’t worry, there won’t be a huge unsightly piece sticking out like you see now.  I’m not sure where the hot pots go once they come off the stove and I’m also not sure where dinner is supposed to be eaten.  If I had absolutely no shame I’d give you a close up of our dining room table but that’s just too embarrassing right now!  Wish us luck – and patience!

Today is Father’s Day!  It’s a pretty uneventful day this year for us but with no less love or honor for all the father’s in our lives.  We had breakfast with Walter’s parents, his mom made her famous shrimp fritters that we stuffed ourselves on.  Tonight we’ll have dinner with my family at the Outback Steakhouse, as dad has requested.  For “our family” we got up early thanks to the poking and prodding of poor Noah who decided to celebrate by catching a cold.  We let Walter open all of his cards and gifts and then Noah used him as a jungle gym, as usual.  Unfortunately there was a piggy back ride incident with a cabinet door that was left open (my bad) and both guys smashed right into it.  Oh the joys of a crazy toddler household!  Anyway, we hope you all have a great Father’s Day and find time to honor all the men in your life.  Here are a few photos from our day.

Here’s the poor munchkin at lunch time (explains the split peas soup on his face).  Mouth hanging open because he can’t breathe, a gash over his swollen left eye from the cabinet door, rosy red cheeks and nose from his cold and generally a little droopy looking because I’m sure he’s wiped out.  As I type this he’s passed out for a nap, hopefully a long one.

And here are the boys…

What a difference two years makes – this was them on Walter’s first Father’s Day…

And here’s the office as of today, as Walter promised.  I can’t wait to move in!  Notice the junkyard that is now our backyard just outside the window.  That should be cleaned up soon, and again, can’t wait!

Sorry its been so long since an update.  Unfortunately between the weather and gravity the more I sit at my computer the more swollen my feet become.  I’ve been trying very hard to keep away or keep my feet up but it doesn’t seem to be working very well so I might as well give you an update.

My camera.  Poor thing.  It really is broken.  The flash of life it gave last week was a last ditch effort to let us salvage what was there.  It has turned into Noah’s new toy I’m afraid.

Our house.  The addition is nearly done!  We have a few little minor things left but we should be moving furniture this week.  They are also starting on our kitchen which will be a HUGE renovation, a very needed one!  Very exciting!  Unfortunately Noah will be so disappointed when he realizes the office addition is not a play room.  He’s been enjoying the big empty room to race around in.  Here’s a recent photo of the space, Walter promises to take some full room shots very soon -

Noah’s bed.  It arrived!  We got it all put together and its working out great.  We had no idea he would need a step stool to get into it but its working so we’re not complaining.  Here’s two photos of his finished big boy bed, doesn’t he look so little?! -

Noah.  He starts a new school on Monday.  Its a Montessori program and he’ll be attending three hours each morning (Monday-Friday) plus swim lessons for the first 9 weeks.  I hope he likes it and the transition won’t be hard.  I’m very nervous for him!  Noah also had his two year check up this week.  He weighed in at 24 pounds, which is only 10% on an average scale and measured 33 inches which rates him 20% on that scale.  The doctor said we should just resign ourselves to the fact that Noah is going to be a little boy.  I’m still sneaking vegetables in his food in an effort to help!  And yes, I know, it will all work out and he’ll be average or better in no time but a mother worries – there’s no getting around that.

That’s about all that’s going on in our life.  Be well and stay in touch!

We took the opportunity of the long weekend to break out Noah’s “big boy bed”.  We ordered the same daybed as our nephew, Jeffrey, has.  We got all the boxes (so we thought) and put it together as soon as we could Friday.  Once everything was opened we realized we were missing, um, the bed portion.  Instead we received the trundle and DHL promised the bed would be here Tuesday.  What the heck, I was excited, we put the trundle together and figured he could sleep there.  Mom took us to Sam’s for a mattress which was quite a spectacle.  Imagine the four of us (Walter, Mom, Noah, me) in the car plus a twin sized mattress.  Yeah, well, Walter was in the trunk.  Anyway we got it all together and I’ll spare you the details but so far he’s spent two nights and one nap in his bed.  He still asks for his “grib” once in awhile but we’re using the hard sell to keep him in bed.  Hopefully it gets easier every night.  Here’s the trundle bed he’s been sleeping in.  I’ll post pics once we get it all together.

I mentioned earlier that Noah tossed my camera into the pool on his birthday.  We thought it was toast but we were able to recover a few photos from the memory card, thankfully.  Well luck was on our side because we tried one last time to turn on the camera yesterday and WALLAH! it worked!  I leave you with a few photos from his birthday, pre camera swim lesson.

This is Noah fresh from his haircut.  His spikey hair was so cute!  I need to find the right gel I think.

My child, so obsessed with the foot bath feature at every water park shower.  Last time he had a run in with one was at Lion Country, and he was fully clothed.  His poor shorts, socks and shoes, you’d think he would learn.

Noah’s friends Aaron and Alex joined us.  Aaron just started walking, he’s standing so well now!

Should I have known from this evil eye that my camera would be dead moments later?  Maybe.  It’s certainly the “get-that-thing-out-of-my-face look”.  Too bad I can’t show you the super yummy dessert we all had after lunch at Cheddar’s.  We highly recommend it!

Noah got his first super short haircut yesterday and although he looks a bit like he just came from boot camp I think it’s adorable!  The lady who cut it got it to spike so nice but of course like any good haircut we couldn’t get it to look the same now that we’re home.  Here’s a few photos of his new look.

Without the spike -

With the spike -

Sorry there are so many, we couldn’t decide which photo we liked best!