Dear Kate,
Happy first birthday sweetheart! I can’t believe you’re one already! What a bittersweet day for me and what a hell of a year it has been for you. I want you to know that I love you and I want you to know (for later) what a special person you are and what you mean to me.

This year has been a little crazy for us. A year ago today you were born by the jaws of life c-section late in the afternoon and you have made our world better every day since.  You are a very happy baby.  You’re constantly smiling, laughing, making friends, charming strangers.  You are the friendliest person I know and you love everyone.  Some day you may judge people before getting to know them and that may make you more guarded but right now you give everyone the benefit of the doubt and you are very generous with your love.  In your heart everyone is good and that is a good way to be.  Your Apoe (grandmother) says you need to be careful of strangers, that you would let a monster hold you, and while both of those are true you are young and it’s good to be kind. 

You are a very determined little girl.  You know what you want and you are going to work hard until you get it.  This is a good life lesson but can be frustrating when what you want is the batteries from the back of the remote.  You don’t talk yet, you only say “da da” and “uh oh”, and I don’t know if you know what either of those mean but you’re a fierce pointer.  You love to point out what you want and grunt at it.  You’re so funny.  Your grunts includes “Eh!” (my favorite), “Wha?”, “Meh!” and “Ugh!”

You’re a climber.  You learned to climb steps and Grammy’s house and you haven’t stopped trying to get on top of everything since.  You like to conquer your toys, any footstool you can get your hands on, and any mole hill you can find.

People tell you that you’re gross.  Well, you are, but I’m hoping it’s a phase.  As a baby you spit up horribly.  You stained everything, it was gross.  You snored, you tooted, you were just a beast.  Now that you’re older you’ve gotten a little better.  You just do different gross things.  Now when you spit up you think you’ve invented finger paint and you’re determined to decorate the floor.  You get mad when we wipe it up.  You eat like an animal!  Food is everywhere.  The floor, your shirt (you have started ripping off bibs), in your diaper, down your back, in your hair… eating is a contact sport for you.  It’s a good thing you’re so damn cute.  I hope one day we can just say you’re messy and not gross.

You are gorgeous!  Not because I’m your mother – you really are gorgeous.  Everyone tells us.  We say you’re “universally cute”.  I wonder how you’ll look in a few years, though I’m rushing nothing.  Will your hair be black or brown?  Will you always have those killer round eyes and one sweet little dimple (your brother has the other one)?  Will your curls continue to curl or will they be a distant memory after your first haircut?  Time will only tell but you have got to be one of the cutest one year olds I’ve ever known!

You love music.  Man, do you love music!  You dance to any beat you can find, you clap your hands and grin big when you hear a kid’s song but you’ll rock back and forth to my music too.  Music really does make you very happy.  We’re starting Kindermusik on Thursday, I’m sure you’ll love it.

You’re an explorer.  You need to check everything out.  You want to be held at home because you know every nook and cranny but in public or at a new place you can’t wait to get down.  You’ll crawl through dirt, it doesn’t matter, you need to SEE! 

You’re allergic to dairy.  I really hope you outgrow this.  It will be really sad if you can’t have ice cream.

You can’t walk yet.  You’re cruising around furniture and you’ll hold our hands to practice but you haven’t stepped out on your own quite yet.  All in your own time.

You love your brother.  I hope that never changes.  You look at him like he’s a celebrity.  You love to watch him, you love to play with him, and you’re sad when he gets rough.  He’s a boy though, so he’s rough often.  You didn’t care when he broke your arm and you chase after him like it’s a price well worth paying.  Please be sure to always remind him that he broke your arm when you were a baby – especially at his wedding.  Be kind to him, love him like mad, always.  Family is very important and even if he is annoying sometimes he is your brother and you need to look out for each other.

You are my sunshine.  I love you and your brother very much but you can’t talk back yet or tell me no.  You wake up every morning with a smile on your face, just dying to snuggle in and let us hug you.  You always make me laugh and remind me that life is good.  You are an easy baby, even if changing your diaper right now is like trying to nail jello to the wall, you’re very easy going and flexible with your schedule and needs.  I would like to think I know you the best and have known you the longest.  Even when you were bouncing around inside my belly and hiccuping like it was your job I knew you were special.  You have always been very special to me for so many reasons.

You have never been a cuddler.  You never enjoyed being rocked to sleep, you never wanted to be coddled.  If that ever changes I’m here, I’m the one underneath your very cuddly brother.  There’s plenty of room on this lap for two.

Kate, you’ve given me the opportunity to experience everything exactly opposite from your brother (from pregnancy, to birth, to nursing, to temperament, and so much more).  You have made  so many of my wishes and dreams come true.  I wanted you for so long and now that you’re here  I want nothing but the best for you.  I have so many hopes and ideas of what I would like you to become (nothing specific - just independent, successful, self assured, deliriously happy….) and I would do anything for you to make your dreams come true as you did mine.  I would like to believe we’ll always be close, that you’ll always need me, and that you’ll always want me around.  Looking back on my relationship with your Grammy though I am sure there will be times that you don’t feel all of those things at once and you don’t believe me.  But know, my dear daughter, that it is true, and it always will be, the absolute unwavering certainty that I LOVE YOU.  Please know how truly special you are to me now, and always. 

All my love,
Mom

P.S.  I cried on the exam table the moment we found out you were a girl in my 12th week of pregnancy.  I will likely bawl like a total baby at your wedding.  Please invite me anyway!

  

  

Happy Birthday Mushy!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 at 12:04 am and is filed under Kate. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.